Elf on a Shelf is a quest in Wasteland 3.
Background[ | ]
We received a radio call from a distressed 'elf' requesting help from a tyrannical Santa Claus. Time to investigate Santa's operation and locate the distressed elf. Let's find out if Santa should be on our naughty list.
Walkthrough[ | ]
- A seemingly random radio call in the Rockies leads to Santa's Workshop. Explore the main building and talk to Sugarplum Mary to realize that not all is kosher. You can get some more out of her if you tell Santa that you smell cookies.
- To resolve the quest, head out the other door to the back and investigate Santa's home. You need the brain candy recipe from the level 9 safe to confront Santa, which allows you to:
- Hard Ass 6: Diplomatically tell him to hike away north.
- Kiss Ass 6: Take over his operation with him as manager.
- Weird Science 6: Increase efficiency by 200% and get double shipments at Ranger HQ.
- Arrest: Santa will initiate combat on his terms.
- Attack. Note that if you let him initiate combat, you're in a very, very bad position.
- If you choose combat, once Santa is dead you can tell the elves that you are now in charge and have the drugs shipped to Ranger HQ.
- If you decide to free the slaves, you need the Jingle All The Way Schematics or Nerd Stuff/Mechanics 8. Access the slave workshop, then interact with the computer to be able to disable the jingling bells (using schematics to disable, killing the process, or breaking the antenna).
Rewards[ | ]
- If you side with Santa or take over: Brain candy deliveries at Ranger HQ.
- If you destroy the camp: Good feelings!
Raw strings[ | ]
Elf on a Shelf Locate the distressed elf at Santa's Workshop. Find evidence that Santa is producing Brain Candy at his workshop. Confront Santa in his workshop. Rangers attacked and killed the elves. We received a radio call from a distressed 'elf' requesting help from a tyrannical Santa Claus. Time to investigate Santa's operation and locate the distressed elf who called us. Let's find out if Santa should be on our naughty list. Sugarplum Mary told us that Santa's Workshop is a front for a slave-labor drug factory. She suggested we locate his recipe for Brain Candy in the shack out back for leverage. With the Brain Candy recipe in hand, it's time to have a heart to heart with Santa. We've freed the elves after killing Santa and deactivating his Naughty List. After killing Santa, we took over his operation. The elves will keep making Brain Candy and send it to Ranger HQ. After scaring Santa away, we took over his operation. The elves will keep making Brain Candy and send it to Ranger HQ. We freed the elves after scaring Santa away and deactivating his Naughty List. We came to an arrangement with Santa and the elves will continue to work as they have. We activated Santa's Naughty List and blew up all the elves working in his workshop. That's one way to solve the problem. We murdered 'Santa's Little Helpers,' enslaved men and women who were forced to dress as little kids. Why? How else were we going to stop Christmas? We found a pile of dead elves in a shed. Blast marks covered their bodies. We located Sugarplum Mary, the woman who called us. She suggested we trick Santa into the kitchen so she can talk to us. He loves cookies. Sugarplum Mary has explained that the elves can't leave the area until the computer that controls their explosive bells is deactivated.