View source for Mr. Manners' Guide to Post-Apocalyptic Etiquette

===Part 1===
{{transcript|text=
''Tips for Staying Polite in the Wastes''

Greetings gentle friend,

Manners are the key to a stable society. The impolite people of the old days never took the time to properly dress, groom themselves, and be polite to one another. From this, misunderstanding was born, then hostility, and eventually war.

Fortunately, with the guidance of the sacred book, we [[Mannerites]] know how men and women should live and act, and are dedicated to spreading that knowledge far and wide. We understand the foundation of peace and prosperity lies in good manners, even in a world destroyed by lack of proper etiquette. The sad truth, however, is that many other people live in ignorance of even the most basic code of conduct - uncouth raiders and ill-bred toughs who wouldn't even know to use a fork to eat salad, let alone which one is appropriate! Shocking I know, but a painful reality in today's harsh world.

Some intelligent souls are wise enough to see the truth of our ways, once they have been politely, calmly explained to them. Others, however, do not, and respond with threats or even violence when corrected. Understand that in such a case, it is not impolite to respond in kind.

But it is exactly here that the real danger lies. [[Knife|Knives]] may wound you, bullets may kill you, but it is the impolite ruffians of the [[Los Angeles|LA]] swamps that present the true threat to modern life - forgetting one's manners!

Yes, gentle reader! You may not be able to imagine it, but it has happened - true gentlemen and ladies forgetting their manners, no longer bothering to keep their attire neat and proper, putting elbows on the table at dinner, chewing with their mouth open, and other, similar horrors. As you would expect, such degenerates are doomed to the folly and death of all the impolite folk of the wastes.

So in this harsh, challenging society, always keep these six easy tips in mind:

-A can of deodorant is the most important item you can carry. Dump your [[Weapon|guns]], [[food]] and [[water]] before letting go of it.
-The same applies to your [[tooth brush]].
-Always have an extra suit on hand in case your first gets stained with hard-to-remove things such as blood or brain matter.
-Always be polite, even if those you meet look like ruffians and [[bandits]], it is impolite to assume the worst. But once they are impolite, you may respond in kind.
-When meeting any kind of authority, do not speak unless spoken to.
-When eating, even an impromptu table-setting and cutlery combination is better than none. 
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