The Bizarre

The Bizarre is a location in Wasteland 3.

Background[]

The Bizarre is a marketplace of the expensive, the dangerous, and the weird, built into a prewar mall that’s buried under decades of snow. Once the seat of power of the Monster Army, is now the only area they still control.

The first post-war inhabitants of the Bizarre were pig farmers, who used the Warrens to keep their livestock. The Monster Army seized the Bizarre from its original inhabitants and transformed it into the trading hub it is today. Legend has it that the Monster Army discovered the Bizarre when they heard the sounds of idling arcade games coming from beneath the snow.

Travelers have been known to wait outside for days – or even weeks – in hopes of gaining entrance into the Bizarre. The Bizarre exports meats, leather, and manure to Colorado Springs, in trade for more varied foodstuffs and supplies, as well as acting as a secure trading hub.

Also, remember: People who tell the mashers of the Bizarre that it's actually spelled Bazaar only ever do that once.

Points of interest[]

Exterior

Welcome to the premiere shopping mall of Colorado. You'll immediately be introduced to Ananda Rabindranath, who will provide some guidance about the place. To the east is the entrance to the Bizarre proper, where you'll be able to buy an entry pass if you can't secure it through other means (see Knock, Knock for details).
To the south is a building with hopefuls trying to get inside. Talk to Paris Handler to find an alternative means of entrance (by making dye and getting her recommendation) and to The Great Gurn for a cryptic prophecy pointing you to where to find the dye. Alongside the building is Six-Fingered Larry with a recruitable parrot.
North is the no-man's land, with a large parking garage sprawling to the northwest, and gangs to the east. The entrance to the Warrens is in the northeastern section, with a toy warehouse occupied by Payasos right next to it. Around the back you can find drools and a lost soul, who will attack (and are particularly nasty critters to fight off), with a "dentist's office" (Payaso torture spot under Dr. Smiles; wipe him out to find a Bizarre pass) right next to it and access the Warrens.
- Check the corner in the southeast for a rubber ducky buried in the snow.
To the northeast lies a ruined greenhouse. Search the body for a Cabbage Patch Kid and farmer's diary. The container contains the Children of the Cabbage tape.
The car park itself deserves special mention. After looting the entrance for Maneater Maury and Binoculars , head north. You'll immediately be contacted by Lewis Stenerud by radio, who will tell you to politely fuck off to a nicer spot. You can use Hard Ass 4 to force Lewis to identify himself. Approach further and, well, you'll have to fight the human smugglers: Lewis, his seven henchmen and two turrets. After killing them, you can use the key from Lewis' corpse to open the hut with the refugees.

Interior

Once you get access to the Bizarre, you will be greeted by an exploding pig and Simon The Squatch trying to keep a good face. Talk to him about the pig and he'll refer you to Flab the Inhaler in the back, starting A Nightmare in the Bizarre. You can then explore the Bizarre itself, which is laid out around the Mountain Bar in the center, with Alfredo Garcia, Bartender Finn and Masato holding down the fort. There's also Pareidolia Jones and Long John here.
In the lower left, the southwest, is The Sanctified Piscitelli, the premier weapons trader.
On the western side is Chix Flicks, ran by Eidilon and offering a side quest, Cinéma Vérité. Up from the cinema is Quarex and his museum. Listening through his whole tour is worth a simple achievement.
In the northeastern corner is Flab the Inhaler, the head of the Monster Army.
On the eastern side is the exit to the Warrens beneath the Bizarre. You can talk to Randy Gett to get a new quest and a potential recruit for Peterson AFB, and get healed by Dr. Cold Cuts.